So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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