apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
