I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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