Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize