I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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