I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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