He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize