Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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