Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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