You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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