i was born a porn star she said
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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