all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
