I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
