I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
