I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
