Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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