something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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