oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
nutella sex= disaster
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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