wat bout pragnant strippers??
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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