So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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