That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize