I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
