how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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