im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
