just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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