Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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