i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
