and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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