I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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