Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize