I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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