And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
