Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize