Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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