Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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