Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
