Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
