you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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