my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
