GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
