ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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