The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
