I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
