Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You made out with two different species that night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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