Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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