Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
