So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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