The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
