Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
