I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
