Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
