My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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