sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
