I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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