there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
