i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
