just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
