I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
