don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
